Discovering yourself is a cursed blessing. - Anonymous  

You go through life questioning yourself if you're not content with yourself, and it's a hell if you're not content with yourself

People will try shoving their "I'm okay with ... I'm not okay with ..." down your throat, wanting to make you like-minded, think like them. Prejudice is a real good example of that, so is being a zealot and hating a person for being "unacceptable" to what they're supposed to be used to. Some people just go too far, y'know? They hurt people without a care what they're doing is wrong, because they don't think they're actually doing anything wrong! That's messed up

And when you have people shoving their "I'm okay with ... I'm not okay with ..." into your life, you get confused, angry, and you also get a headache in trying to figure out if you are actually okay with and not okay with what they're okay with and not okay with. It makes you feel so conflicted about everything, doesn't it? 

Were you born into something? Were or are you apart a family that had been a certain way for so long, you felt you had to be that way too? I always felt conflicted with my religion, because it clashed a lot of times with my personal beliefs. Love is love as long as it isn't necrophilia, pedophilia, or beastiality, there are things in this world we can't explain, a person can find light in the dark if they tried, and a lot more similar things. I always felt I was wired wrong when I was okay with something that people would normally take a long time to be okay with. When you're born into something, it feels like you didn't have a say, and sometimes, you feel like you have to be the same way your family is because that's just how it is. I was born into being Christian, but later on in life Indecided to give it a try on my own terms. Now? I believe in the third power, the human power. Because that's what I'm okay with

It's a blessing finding out who you are, what you're okay with and not okay with, because then you feel content, courageous, and confident in yourself. Good Cs to have. Even if someone else is upset with who you are, at least you can say now you don't run the risk of being someone you know you won't ever be. It's also a curse, discovering yourself, in that you lose that meager identity you made back in your childhood 

That's why it's called a "cursed blessing". Found, lost, discovered. You found yourself an identity as a kid, lost it after something changing happens, and then you discover yourself ... 

There are 27 if not 29 causes of death I can name off the top of my head: burning, infection, blood loos, decapitation, wounding the vital organs/the appendix rupturing (can be fatal, this), slitting the throat, suffocation, poisoning, animal mauling (pigs are a rather interesting animal in that they will eat practically anything, including their own kind - read a book several years ago, it involving Hannibal the Cannibal and was disturbed to learn this, as I didn't know it prior that), breaking the neck, drowning, gutting, falling from great heights/immense impact, impaling, direct gun shot wounds, concussions (it's fatal in that if you go to sleep with a concussion, you'll slip into a coma, and chances of waking from one of those is varied), internal bleeding, cells deteriorating from cancer/ other illness, car accidents (though this might fall under the "immense impact" category), choking, hanging, natural disasters (chances are that there will be casualties), old age (the more merciful cause of death), circumstances/complications (stillborn syndrome, for one, and miscarriage for another), allergies (no joking with this one), exposure to the elements for a prolonged period of time (hypothermia is an example), and malnutrition. 

It's disturbing how fragile the human life is, and that we're all eligible to meet such a gruesome fate, like one of the ones from up above I listed off. We make a good of show of pretending we're not, don't we? 

An acquaintance of mine had commented on the fact I think of death as I do ( and if you refer back to a prior post I made about life and death, you'll know what I'm talking about). He had said it was disturbing that I do have thoughts about death. I didn't mind pointing out to him that death is something we all have to look forward to, so why not think about it? Doesn't anyone ever wonder how they'll die? When they'll die? What all they would have gotten done before they die? I know I do. It's disturbing to think about, yes, I admit that, but does anyone else believe it's better to think about something that could and most likely will happen than not thinking at all about it and being surprised if and when it does occur? We're weak creatures who like believing we're at the top of the food chain, when in reality, when we're left vulnerable and alone, all on our own, we're little more than prey for the predators. Scary, but true. I mean, how many times has a person died from an animal attack when they were without guns and knives and other defensive/offensive weapons? Almost always. 

Life is like glass. It's fragile in that anything can break life, in that anything can break a human's life. Sad, isn't it? 

What music do you like? A rather forward question, one I don't expect people to actually give me an answer on in the comment section, but this question has a purpose. 

I have found myself liking a variety of songs (excluding those of the scream-o genre. If you like that musical genre, I apologize if my saying I dislike it offends you), for either the catchy beat, the tones underlying in them, a mixture of both, or because those songs just ... speak to me? Weird and slightly crazy, huh? Well, I dunno, it makes sense to me. 

Music is a form of expression, a different form of freedom of speech, like how art is freedom of creative thinking, how I like to think of the two as. We go about denying things, either because we'll be facing aggressive nay-sayers, we have doubts of what we're feeling, or just because. It's the same with our feelings in that we don't generally like telling people what's the problem if there is one, because we just don't have the right words to say. 

Let me start by saying this: I've listened to a lot of songs so I think I might know a thing or two about what I'm about to tell you all. There's a song for almost everything in life. There's songs for the broken hearts out there, songs for fixing depression and about depression, there are songs for the angry and hurting people, too. Then there are songs for expressing other things, like the happy in life; songs about love, for those feeling love, and the like. 

If you have a favorite musical genre, than maybe it's because that certain specific genre is just saying the things you know you'll never be able to find the right words to say? That's what I feel about the songs I listen to ... They'll always be saying what I never will be able to. And it's okay to have more than one favorite musical genre, to dislike a musical genre. Music is, after all, freedom of speech in a different form, and we won't always like what's being said. 

So what's your favorite type of music?